By Dannie-Lu Carr,
One of the trickiest things in our work and personal lives are other human beings! If only other people thought exactly the same way as we do, had the same agendas, had the same trigger points and could read our minds in as much detail as we can read our own, then all things would go swimmingly.
Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. In the turmoil of inevitable human ego, high-pressured circumstances and differing points of view, the likelihood of miscommunication is huge. Achieving a win-win and forward-moving situation can feel almost impossible with the complexities of someone else’s expectations and perceptions thrown into the mix.
We have a choice of how to navigate all of these factors: we can dictate, we can become combative, we can give in completely and feel rubbish about it or we can master the skills of positive influencing. Some major positive influencers from history include Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Mother Teresa, Rosa Parks, M. Scot Peck, Richard Branson and Barack Obama. It could also be noted that these effective influencers also fall into the ‘brilliant leader’ category.
The fundamental thing to understand is that we all see the world differently. We might know this conceptually but to really implement this knowledge day to day can be a challenge. And yet it is the key to positive influencing and impactful leadership.
In short, our brains take in over two million pieces of information per second. Then we will edit, delete, distort, make links etc, all based on our experience of life to date (parenting, cultures, religious/spiritual beliefs or absence of, relationships, etc).
This all happens unconsciously so if the individual themselves isn’t aware, how can we be? Well, the skills lie predominantly in listening and paying attention first and foremost before we come to the metaphorical or literal table with our own agendas or points of view.
It also means we need to be clear on our own perspectives and ideals ahead of time, whilst having the ability to be flexible in the moment to create the win/win. This is easier with those we already feel aligned with but not so easy if our past experience has been ‘bumpy’.
Learning and implementing some simple, effective tools, mindsets and strategies can enable you and your people to handle difficult dynamics during the negotiation process. It can also help to maintain or create better relationships both internally and externally, driving things forward clearly and with a mutually beneficial purpose. A day of Postive Influencing training can give you the resources you need.
Dannie will be hosting a Positive Influencing Skills course at Newcastle on June 21st. Find out more here.
Dannie-Lu Carr is a Personal Impact, Communications and Creativity specialist, providing speaking engagements, seminars, workshops and consulting all over the world. She delivers Positive Influencing, Presenting & Public Speaking, Writing for Impact & Creativity and Time Management courses for CIPR.
Featured image courtesy of Flickr user ~Pawsitive~Candie_N via CC.