Can we ban the notion of 'work-life balance' please?

I've been reading the words of Deborah Joseph, the phenomenal editor in chief of Glamour and Rebecca Anderton-Davies, author of Shifting the Dials (full disclosure, a close friend of mine) recently, who offer alternatives to this toxic notion.

The perfect balance is nothing more than a game of whack-a-mole (thanks to Deborah for the analogy), especially for generation of women who were told they could have and should want ‘it all’. 

Turns out, it was a lie.

I know this well. After an incredibly intense period of running Catch, moving hundreds of miles away from my friends in London to start a new life in Derbyshire, and looking after a feisty three year old and two dogs, balance is nowhere to be found. And I’m one of the ‘lucky ones’ whose husband shares the domestic load equally and, if I’m honest, picks up the lion’s share of it a lot of the time. 

Both Deborah and Rebecca talk openly about the trades they have to make, the saying ‘no’ (or ‘not right now’), the saying ‘yes’ and also the help they need to get the ‘job done’. 

Here are some of the key takeaways from these brilliant women:

Be flexible in your goals but rigid in your purpose 
Rebecca notes that being too specific about what you want to achieve is a recipe for disaster, but knowing why you want to achieve those things and committing to a greater purpose builds resilience and flexibility in your plans - which protect you, mentally and physically, from dog headed focus on the wrong end game and disappointment.

Say no – to perfection and other things
Deborah has given up on perfection. Putting everything that didn't serve her into the 30% pile – aka saying no. This is hard, and not a new philosophy but far too few of us are living by it. 

Not now doesn’t mean never
Rebecca’s framework of the ‘dials’ allows us to focus on certain areas of our life that need attention at certain points. Your work dial may be turned right up ahead of a raise or a big promotion but your ‘social life’ dial might be turned to 0. It doesn’t mean the social life won’t come back roaring at 10 (or 11) at some point. Give yourself a break and understand what you need in the season of life you’re in right now.

Pass it on
As leaders in business we all have a responsibility to bake flexibility and inclusivity into our working cultures that don’t foster an environment in which anyone experiences burnout and allow people to work towards their 'why' as well as the company's 'what'. Psychologically safe places for people to work allow people to be creative, productive and successful. 

Nicole Green is co-founder of Catch Communications, a B Corp certified communications agency for impact-driven brands.

Shifting the Dials is published by Hodder & Stoughton.

Deborah Joseph wrote My ‘best 70 per cent life’: why I stopped trying to do it all for the Times.