Book review: How to Be Awake by Heather Darwall-Smith
We’re all chasing the perfect night’s sleep. But as a new book suggests, the solution lies not in bedtime rituals, but in addressing the causes of stress and overstimulation in our waking lives.
Sleep well last night? Sleep at all? Discounting ‘fun’ reasons, it’s likely your answer’s ‘No, I didn’t – and even just asking me that has put me in an even worse mood.’
Because, sad to say, sleep deprivation’s something of a latter-day epidemic. Studies show 74% of adults report less than stellar sleep quality – and one in ten of us are even getting fewer than four hours per night.
While that might have worked for Baroness Thatcher, it’s not ideal for our noggins. And despite the growing interest in ‘sleep science’, many of us are still desperately searching for that elusive, restorative rest.
However, according to psychotherapist and sleep specialist Heather Darwall-Smith, we’ve been looking in the wrong place. Instead of obsessing over bedtime routines, we should instead be examining how we navigate our (often hectic) waking lives. In short: wake up and smell the coffee!
National Sleep Week
Published right on cue for both National Sleep Week (9 –15 March) and National Sleep Day (14 March), the premise of Darwall-Smith’s insightful, immensely practical and refreshingly counter-intuitive new book ‘How to Be Awake’ is simple yet profound: our ‘always on’ culture is overstimulating our poor nervous systems, making it that much harder to wind down when we need to get our heads down. Rather than relying on sleep trackers, herbal teas, or strict bedtime rituals, she encourages us to focus on a more balanced day. And the book provides frameworks to address this, covering topics such as stress, technology, nutrition, and daily habits.
One of the book’s most surprising takeaways is that sleep isn’t something we can actually ‘perfect.’ Many of us – particularly high-achievers – approach those zees with a rigid mindset, obsessing over our sleep efficiency scores. But Darwall-Smith (who considers the phrase “sleep hygiene” to be as ambivalent as “clean eating”) warns this can be counterproductive. “Perfectionism is insomnia’s best friend,” she says, and instead urges readers to allow sleep to be ‘messy’ – to embrace a more intuitive approach.
Sleep and the nervous system
Another key theme is the role of the nervous system in regulating sleep. If we spend our days resembling startled meerkats, in a tremendous state of alertness – because of work, doomscrolling, social media, a packed schedule, or just, well, everything right now – our brains become neurotic smoke alarms, on high alert at night. Or indeed, all night. And the book offers science-backed strategies to tackle this, including taking rest breaks, and learning to switch off mentally before bedtime. (Switching off the phone an hour before bed’s an excellent idea too.)
For those struggling with chronic insomnia, How To Be Awake suggests Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBTi) – a gold-standard treatment that helps break the cycle of wakefulness. And what truly matters, she says, is consistency of sleep – although an occasional weekend lie-in won’t sabotage our cycles.
And if you just can’t sleep? “Please go and do something else – don’t lie there torturing yourself!” Right, we’re off to tidy the kitchen cupboards for another five hours.
How To Be Awake (So You Can Sleep Through the Night) by Heather Darwall-Smith is out now, published by Harper Collins (£16.99).
Ali Catterall is an award-winning writer, journalist and filmmaker whose writing has featured in the Guardian, Time Out, GQ, Film4, Word magazine and the Big Issue, among many others.